Bakersfield Blog|Your Blog About Bakersfield
Dec
18
Filed Under (Home And Family) by
Jeff Gustafson asked:
Mom and dad prayed every night for Carlo wishing him a safe trip. They too had not heard from Eke since she left that early day in May. Uncle “Joe” had visited some time the middle of June and spent the night as they talked till all hours as mom and dad learned about the real reason for Eke’s return. Uncle “Joe”, according to mom, almost was apologetic for his brother’s actions but then again you could tell that even though he lived in the United States he was still of the old school Japanese. They respected their elders; they honored the traditions and lived proudly within their inherited culture. Look at all of the symbolism within the tea ceremony and the detail to which they go to in preparation and performance. Traditions are inbred and followed to a precise point. So it is no wonder that they responded the way they did, especially being at such a distance where they had no control. And even Eke could have very easily refused to go home but in respect for her parents and their siblings, and her culture she knew she had to honor them and return home and try to deal with things from there even though she had not completed her school year.
Had Carlo arrived in Wakayama? Had he seen Eke? Did the Suki’s welcome him into their home? Anxiously they awaited word knowing that Carlo would soon write or call.
The train trip was difficult as Carlo was caught up in a flow of emotion. He had traveled all of this way and now he was questioning himself and it was becoming almost too much for this tall, lanky, Mexican young man. Thoughts of his mother raising him alone; the reflection back to his discussion with Manuel Jose Gonzales; his vision of those last moments together with Eke in Bakersfield were all causing him to tighten up inside and he was for the moment a wreck. What was he going to do once he arrived in Wakayama?
The train arrived at 3 o’clock sharp. According to the directions, the hotel was only about 5 blocks away. So Carlo decided to walk to see if he could relieve some of the tension. Fortunately he only packed two bags and so the hike was tolerable and he arrived within a few short minutes. There was a minimal line at the counter in a very narrow lobby/hallway (it was the only hotel that was available within his price range). Again, it was clean but definitely not of the quality of the hotel the night previous. Once he arrived at the counter, the clerk was polite enough but there was something that he could not put his finger on that was different from his stay in Tokyo. The clerk looked to another person when he gave his name and they both nodded. He couldn’t ask what that was about since he didn’t know the words to use so just assumed that it had nothing to do with him. He got his key, headed toward the elevator and then up to the 5th floor.
Carlo immediately pulled out his writing pad to catch up on his correspondence since he had not communicated back home since leaving San Francisco. He knew that his family and our mom and dad were most likely worrying themselves sick knowing that Carlo was so far away and unseasoned as a traveler. The letters were short but they were reassuring that all was fine and he was ready to fulfill his quest starting tomorrow.
I had actually been to Japan earlier that year and stayed with the Suki’s at there request while attending a wedding of my wife’s “foreign sister”. She was the daughter of the family that Jill stayed with one summer as an exchange student from the United States. They spoke no English and I knew no words of Japanese. But during that week, I learned a great appreciation for these polite people and their wonderful quality of life. The word family had true meaning in their culture. It was everything in those years. The elders had paid their dues and they were respected for that and that respect had been going on for centuries. This made it especially hard for me to hear what was happening since I could see and appreciate both sides.
Carlo awoke in the middle of the night and couldn’t get the “nods” out of his head. What was that all about? Was there something he should be aware of? Suddenly he heard something being slipped under his door. At first he was a bit frightened, not exactly sure of what to do so he lay there quietly waiting to see if he could hear anything from the hallway. After a few moments went by and not a sound heard, he turned on the bedside light and saw that there was an envelope on the floor. After a sigh of “what now” he made his way to the doorway and picked up the envelope labeled “23B”. (…to be continued)
CAPETILLO
Mom and dad prayed every night for Carlo wishing him a safe trip. They too had not heard from Eke since she left that early day in May. Uncle “Joe” had visited some time the middle of June and spent the night as they talked till all hours as mom and dad learned about the real reason for Eke’s return. Uncle “Joe”, according to mom, almost was apologetic for his brother’s actions but then again you could tell that even though he lived in the United States he was still of the old school Japanese. They respected their elders; they honored the traditions and lived proudly within their inherited culture. Look at all of the symbolism within the tea ceremony and the detail to which they go to in preparation and performance. Traditions are inbred and followed to a precise point. So it is no wonder that they responded the way they did, especially being at such a distance where they had no control. And even Eke could have very easily refused to go home but in respect for her parents and their siblings, and her culture she knew she had to honor them and return home and try to deal with things from there even though she had not completed her school year.
Had Carlo arrived in Wakayama? Had he seen Eke? Did the Suki’s welcome him into their home? Anxiously they awaited word knowing that Carlo would soon write or call.
The train trip was difficult as Carlo was caught up in a flow of emotion. He had traveled all of this way and now he was questioning himself and it was becoming almost too much for this tall, lanky, Mexican young man. Thoughts of his mother raising him alone; the reflection back to his discussion with Manuel Jose Gonzales; his vision of those last moments together with Eke in Bakersfield were all causing him to tighten up inside and he was for the moment a wreck. What was he going to do once he arrived in Wakayama?
The train arrived at 3 o’clock sharp. According to the directions, the hotel was only about 5 blocks away. So Carlo decided to walk to see if he could relieve some of the tension. Fortunately he only packed two bags and so the hike was tolerable and he arrived within a few short minutes. There was a minimal line at the counter in a very narrow lobby/hallway (it was the only hotel that was available within his price range). Again, it was clean but definitely not of the quality of the hotel the night previous. Once he arrived at the counter, the clerk was polite enough but there was something that he could not put his finger on that was different from his stay in Tokyo. The clerk looked to another person when he gave his name and they both nodded. He couldn’t ask what that was about since he didn’t know the words to use so just assumed that it had nothing to do with him. He got his key, headed toward the elevator and then up to the 5th floor.
Carlo immediately pulled out his writing pad to catch up on his correspondence since he had not communicated back home since leaving San Francisco. He knew that his family and our mom and dad were most likely worrying themselves sick knowing that Carlo was so far away and unseasoned as a traveler. The letters were short but they were reassuring that all was fine and he was ready to fulfill his quest starting tomorrow.
I had actually been to Japan earlier that year and stayed with the Suki’s at there request while attending a wedding of my wife’s “foreign sister”. She was the daughter of the family that Jill stayed with one summer as an exchange student from the United States. They spoke no English and I knew no words of Japanese. But during that week, I learned a great appreciation for these polite people and their wonderful quality of life. The word family had true meaning in their culture. It was everything in those years. The elders had paid their dues and they were respected for that and that respect had been going on for centuries. This made it especially hard for me to hear what was happening since I could see and appreciate both sides.
Carlo awoke in the middle of the night and couldn’t get the “nods” out of his head. What was that all about? Was there something he should be aware of? Suddenly he heard something being slipped under his door. At first he was a bit frightened, not exactly sure of what to do so he lay there quietly waiting to see if he could hear anything from the hallway. After a few moments went by and not a sound heard, he turned on the bedside light and saw that there was an envelope on the floor. After a sigh of “what now” he made his way to the doorway and picked up the envelope labeled “23B”. (…to be continued)
CAPETILLO
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Sep
24
Filed Under (Home And Family) by
Jeff Gustafson asked:
In spite of working 2 jobs, studying at every break, attending class and getting in as much language lab as possible, Carlo felt like the summer continued forever. He had not heard the sweet voice of Eke since the first week of May and it was driving him crazy - that broken English, those wonderful ****** expressions and those starry-eyed looks of love.
Carlo spoke fluent Spanish because of his heritage and he even knew a phrase or two in Tagalong because of his mom being from the Philippines. But Japanese was quite a challenge. At least with Spanish and Tagalog he got plenty of practice. But that summer finding someone to converse with on a daily basis in Japanese was a struggle at best with him being so busy. Then there were the Passport, the immunizations and the additional research to better understand the culture and the people so that he could know what he was up against.
Carlo was a pretty bright fellow and, of course, he was clearly passionate about his goal. He just felt that if he could get in front of “mom and dad” and let them know how much he loved their daughter and that he would take special care of her and treasure her as they did that they would come around and bless their union. How could they resist!
As August got closer and the details were all arranged, Carlo began to focus on gifts since he had learned that the Japanese were big on giving small gifts upon arrival. He knew that father Suki was an avid fisherman and mother Suki loved her garden and so with that understanding, every weekend was spent browsing the local shops to find those treasures that would open their hearts.
Carlo had written letters to Eke virtually every week since May but there had been nothing sent in return. This did not bother him since he was so busy but it did make him wonder. Was she receiving his letters? Did he still have the correct address? None of them had been returned so he just kept writing. But as his flight was getting closer he was starting to worry a bit since he had heard nothing. He wasn’t even sure she knew he was coming - 5100 miles? $1800 of hard earned income? …not knowing another soul…first time in a foreign country…and Carlo at this point had little confidence in his command of the Japanese language? There was a lot going on in this 18 year old’s mind.
The plane left from San Francisco at 8 AM and it was a good 13 hour flight. Not only was this his first time on an airplane but it was his first time outside of the 35 miles between Delano and Bakersfield, California except for his move to Sacramento that summer and into the dorm. Here he was 6′4, thin as a rail, heading to a country of small people. There would be no mistaking him for a national.
The flight was pleasant on JAL - a beautiful 747 - and every seat was filled. Carlo enjoyed his first taste of sushi, steaming hot towels and paper slippers. Each stewardess was dressed in traditional Japanese garb as they attended to everyone’s needs. There were even a couple of good movies to pass the time. Carlo was clearly getting excited - he would soon be in the arms of the one he loved.
What would he say to Eke’s parents? How would he approach her father? Did Eke still feel the same way he did? How was he going to get in touch with Eke to find out for sure? Again, did she even know he was coming? So many questions filled his thoughts and there were absolutely no answer. He stared out the port-hole window at the clouds in the sky and just imagined every scenario. “He was on his way to Japan! Wow!”
I don’t know what is more difficult sometimes: knowing what is about to happen or not having a clue. In the case of Carlo he was truly flying by the seat of his pants not knowing what was going to happen. He was headed into “foreign country” and that was literal. “…moshimoshi…arigatou…douitashimashite…”, he continued as the clouds flew by.
Carlo had fallen asleep just after his dinner meal and although sitting up on a plane was not like his soft dormitory bed he slept like a baby for an hour or two awaking only to a pleasant chime letting the passengers know they were starting their decent to Tokyo International. Out the window he could see lights forever as if they never ended against the dark evening sky. The butterflies awoke and started to churn as Carlo awaited his plane departure. (to be continued)
DEW
In spite of working 2 jobs, studying at every break, attending class and getting in as much language lab as possible, Carlo felt like the summer continued forever. He had not heard the sweet voice of Eke since the first week of May and it was driving him crazy - that broken English, those wonderful ****** expressions and those starry-eyed looks of love.
Carlo spoke fluent Spanish because of his heritage and he even knew a phrase or two in Tagalong because of his mom being from the Philippines. But Japanese was quite a challenge. At least with Spanish and Tagalog he got plenty of practice. But that summer finding someone to converse with on a daily basis in Japanese was a struggle at best with him being so busy. Then there were the Passport, the immunizations and the additional research to better understand the culture and the people so that he could know what he was up against.
Carlo was a pretty bright fellow and, of course, he was clearly passionate about his goal. He just felt that if he could get in front of “mom and dad” and let them know how much he loved their daughter and that he would take special care of her and treasure her as they did that they would come around and bless their union. How could they resist!
As August got closer and the details were all arranged, Carlo began to focus on gifts since he had learned that the Japanese were big on giving small gifts upon arrival. He knew that father Suki was an avid fisherman and mother Suki loved her garden and so with that understanding, every weekend was spent browsing the local shops to find those treasures that would open their hearts.
Carlo had written letters to Eke virtually every week since May but there had been nothing sent in return. This did not bother him since he was so busy but it did make him wonder. Was she receiving his letters? Did he still have the correct address? None of them had been returned so he just kept writing. But as his flight was getting closer he was starting to worry a bit since he had heard nothing. He wasn’t even sure she knew he was coming - 5100 miles? $1800 of hard earned income? …not knowing another soul…first time in a foreign country…and Carlo at this point had little confidence in his command of the Japanese language? There was a lot going on in this 18 year old’s mind.
The plane left from San Francisco at 8 AM and it was a good 13 hour flight. Not only was this his first time on an airplane but it was his first time outside of the 35 miles between Delano and Bakersfield, California except for his move to Sacramento that summer and into the dorm. Here he was 6′4, thin as a rail, heading to a country of small people. There would be no mistaking him for a national.
The flight was pleasant on JAL - a beautiful 747 - and every seat was filled. Carlo enjoyed his first taste of sushi, steaming hot towels and paper slippers. Each stewardess was dressed in traditional Japanese garb as they attended to everyone’s needs. There were even a couple of good movies to pass the time. Carlo was clearly getting excited - he would soon be in the arms of the one he loved.
What would he say to Eke’s parents? How would he approach her father? Did Eke still feel the same way he did? How was he going to get in touch with Eke to find out for sure? Again, did she even know he was coming? So many questions filled his thoughts and there were absolutely no answer. He stared out the port-hole window at the clouds in the sky and just imagined every scenario. “He was on his way to Japan! Wow!”
I don’t know what is more difficult sometimes: knowing what is about to happen or not having a clue. In the case of Carlo he was truly flying by the seat of his pants not knowing what was going to happen. He was headed into “foreign country” and that was literal. “…moshimoshi…arigatou…douitashimashite…”, he continued as the clouds flew by.
Carlo had fallen asleep just after his dinner meal and although sitting up on a plane was not like his soft dormitory bed he slept like a baby for an hour or two awaking only to a pleasant chime letting the passengers know they were starting their decent to Tokyo International. Out the window he could see lights forever as if they never ended against the dark evening sky. The butterflies awoke and started to churn as Carlo awaited his plane departure. (to be continued)
DEW
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Jul
22
Filed Under (Home And Family) by
Jeff Gustafson asked:
Anyone who has driven on highway 99 from Delano to Bakersfield once, let alone every day of your life, knows that landing in a place like Tokyo was going to be quite a shock. Between Delano and Bakersfield, even the rattle snakes and prairie dogs don’t want to be there. It is barren, it is dry, it is hot and the word “beautiful” does not exist in the local vocabulary.
Carlo exited the plane and then the fun began. The airport was exceptionally busy with wall to wall people as Carlo attempted to follow the Japanese passengers that were on his plane to their luggage. His first hope - that would lead to his own. As luck would have it he was right and within less than 20 minutes he was out at the curb waiting for the hotel van.
The drive into Tokyo was quite an experience. Carlo had never seen so many people. And the cars amazed him. It was like a NASCAR event at every corner. If there were two lanes, cars would line up as if there were five and then gun their engines on the turn of the light and miraculously speed (like in an sped up old movie) back into two lanes and continue on their way. And all around him were people saying “hi, hi, hi…” as they acknowledged the words of the people sitting next to them. On the one hand Carlo was fascinated by what was taking place but on the other hand he was beginning to wonder “oh my goodness, what have I done?”
The hotel was smack dab in the middle of downtown Tokyo. The brochure had done it justice as Carlo recognized the neon sign as the van turned the corner. The hotel was very clean but he noticed everyone walking around in the same robe with what also appeared to be pajamas. He tried to ask at the counter “what’s going on” but they just nodded their heads politely with a smile and pointed to the elevator. Once Carlo reached his floor and opened the door (he had to bend down to get through the threshold) to his room he discovered the rooms were relatively small but just like the lobby, very clean with typical tatami mats in place of carpet and bedding that would roll out onto the flooring and a place to keep his shoes with slippers to put on his feet. There was even a toothbrush and toothpaste waiting for his use in the bathroom.
Once settled, Carlo was finding that he was exhausted. That hour or so of sleep on the plane was just enough to keep him awake from the airport to the hotel but now he was starting to feel travel weary and soon rolled out his bed saying “Sayonara my sweet! I’m coming for you soon!”
It was now August 27th and Carlo had to get a plan. He was to board the train to Wakayama at 1:15 that afternoon, arriving shortly before 3. Then the real journey was about to begin. He hadn’t heard from anyone. He didn’t know a soul. And all he had was the last name Suki and an address that hadn’t responded to his mail since May and he stood out tall and clear.
Carlo’s father left when he was 3 years old. He was raised by his mother and grandmother who lived just three blocks down the street. His father never called, never sent a birthday or holiday card and as far as Carlo was concerned up until he turned 16, his father didn’t even exist. But out of the blue on his 16th birthday he answered the phone at home and there he was - Manuel Jose Gonzales. “Is this Carlo, this is your father ‘ happy birthday son.” Carlo didn’t know what to say. He had only asked mom one time about his father and where he lived and she didn’t know and so his name never came up again. And now here he was - Manuel Jose Gonzales.
Carlo talked to him like he would any caller ‘ polite but distant as his mother had taught him. Manuel asked Carlo about his life, apologized for not being there and asked if they could meet some time and just talk. Carlo was not sure that he wanted his father in his life. Mom and grandma had done just fine in bringing him this far and he just wasn’t sure he wanted that complication. But then there was a side of him that wanted to at least know something about his other grandparents and possible sisters or brothers. So after taking a week or so to discuss the phone call with his mom, grandma and two trusted friends, he agreed to meet his dad at a local park to just talk for a bit.
They met that following Saturday and what started out as 1 hour soon turned into 4 as Manuel talked all about his travels and the family and even Carlos’s mother whom he claimed to still love very much. There were no more children, in fact, his father had never remarried. He traveled the world as a free spirit admitting that raising children was something he just could not do as a young man and although he regretted leaving Carlo and his mother alone, he also admitted that he just was not ready for marriage ‘ a kid in a man’s skin - and settling down and did not awake to what he had done till several years later. And by then he knew it was too late to enter back into Carlo’s life and present that sort of confusion. He chose his sons 16th birthday since then he would be close to a man.
As Carlo boarded the train for Wakayama he thought of his dad and his travels and wondered if he too might be headed for a same fate. Here he was in a foreign country by himself trying to convince parents of someone he loved to let their daughter come back to the United States and marry him. What if he were to find out after having children that he was not ready? Could he actually walk out on his family? Was he honestly being fair to Eke and her mother and father? If she came to the United States with him and then he left her she would be alone in a foreign country with sad parents 5100 miles away. Tears began to form in the corners of each eye as fear of the unknown took hold. (…to be continued)
YERKOVICH
Anyone who has driven on highway 99 from Delano to Bakersfield once, let alone every day of your life, knows that landing in a place like Tokyo was going to be quite a shock. Between Delano and Bakersfield, even the rattle snakes and prairie dogs don’t want to be there. It is barren, it is dry, it is hot and the word “beautiful” does not exist in the local vocabulary.
Carlo exited the plane and then the fun began. The airport was exceptionally busy with wall to wall people as Carlo attempted to follow the Japanese passengers that were on his plane to their luggage. His first hope - that would lead to his own. As luck would have it he was right and within less than 20 minutes he was out at the curb waiting for the hotel van.
The drive into Tokyo was quite an experience. Carlo had never seen so many people. And the cars amazed him. It was like a NASCAR event at every corner. If there were two lanes, cars would line up as if there were five and then gun their engines on the turn of the light and miraculously speed (like in an sped up old movie) back into two lanes and continue on their way. And all around him were people saying “hi, hi, hi…” as they acknowledged the words of the people sitting next to them. On the one hand Carlo was fascinated by what was taking place but on the other hand he was beginning to wonder “oh my goodness, what have I done?”
The hotel was smack dab in the middle of downtown Tokyo. The brochure had done it justice as Carlo recognized the neon sign as the van turned the corner. The hotel was very clean but he noticed everyone walking around in the same robe with what also appeared to be pajamas. He tried to ask at the counter “what’s going on” but they just nodded their heads politely with a smile and pointed to the elevator. Once Carlo reached his floor and opened the door (he had to bend down to get through the threshold) to his room he discovered the rooms were relatively small but just like the lobby, very clean with typical tatami mats in place of carpet and bedding that would roll out onto the flooring and a place to keep his shoes with slippers to put on his feet. There was even a toothbrush and toothpaste waiting for his use in the bathroom.
Once settled, Carlo was finding that he was exhausted. That hour or so of sleep on the plane was just enough to keep him awake from the airport to the hotel but now he was starting to feel travel weary and soon rolled out his bed saying “Sayonara my sweet! I’m coming for you soon!”
It was now August 27th and Carlo had to get a plan. He was to board the train to Wakayama at 1:15 that afternoon, arriving shortly before 3. Then the real journey was about to begin. He hadn’t heard from anyone. He didn’t know a soul. And all he had was the last name Suki and an address that hadn’t responded to his mail since May and he stood out tall and clear.
Carlo’s father left when he was 3 years old. He was raised by his mother and grandmother who lived just three blocks down the street. His father never called, never sent a birthday or holiday card and as far as Carlo was concerned up until he turned 16, his father didn’t even exist. But out of the blue on his 16th birthday he answered the phone at home and there he was - Manuel Jose Gonzales. “Is this Carlo, this is your father ‘ happy birthday son.” Carlo didn’t know what to say. He had only asked mom one time about his father and where he lived and she didn’t know and so his name never came up again. And now here he was - Manuel Jose Gonzales.
Carlo talked to him like he would any caller ‘ polite but distant as his mother had taught him. Manuel asked Carlo about his life, apologized for not being there and asked if they could meet some time and just talk. Carlo was not sure that he wanted his father in his life. Mom and grandma had done just fine in bringing him this far and he just wasn’t sure he wanted that complication. But then there was a side of him that wanted to at least know something about his other grandparents and possible sisters or brothers. So after taking a week or so to discuss the phone call with his mom, grandma and two trusted friends, he agreed to meet his dad at a local park to just talk for a bit.
They met that following Saturday and what started out as 1 hour soon turned into 4 as Manuel talked all about his travels and the family and even Carlos’s mother whom he claimed to still love very much. There were no more children, in fact, his father had never remarried. He traveled the world as a free spirit admitting that raising children was something he just could not do as a young man and although he regretted leaving Carlo and his mother alone, he also admitted that he just was not ready for marriage ‘ a kid in a man’s skin - and settling down and did not awake to what he had done till several years later. And by then he knew it was too late to enter back into Carlo’s life and present that sort of confusion. He chose his sons 16th birthday since then he would be close to a man.
As Carlo boarded the train for Wakayama he thought of his dad and his travels and wondered if he too might be headed for a same fate. Here he was in a foreign country by himself trying to convince parents of someone he loved to let their daughter come back to the United States and marry him. What if he were to find out after having children that he was not ready? Could he actually walk out on his family? Was he honestly being fair to Eke and her mother and father? If she came to the United States with him and then he left her she would be alone in a foreign country with sad parents 5100 miles away. Tears began to form in the corners of each eye as fear of the unknown took hold. (…to be continued)
YERKOVICH
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Apr
24
Filed Under (Home And Family) by
Jeff Gustafson asked:
Although arranged marriages (miai-gekkon) are declining in Japan, in the early 70’s and especially among families, at that time, of the older generation it was very common. Eke had been told from a very early age that her husband would be chosen for here according to custom when she reached her mid twenties and from her father up to her great grandfather that is all she knew. Her families of aunts and uncles as well as her parents were all interested in finding the right husband for Eke and she knew that. Traditionally, the Japanese would engage a nakodo (a go-between) to find the right match considering all of the factors such as education, economic status, and family background. The nakodo was not a professional but someone that knew the families and could objectively determine if the relationship was a good match. In addition, the Suki’s were especially interested in Eke marrying a Japanese man and staying close to home since she was their only child. So when they heard the news that Eke was “falling in love” with an American they felt there was no choice but to take action and get her headed back home.
Eke had arrived back in Japan two days after making that emotional trip from Bakersfield to Los Angeles and she had cried virtually all the way home. She thought about her American family and how she couldn’t tell them the truth and she missed them terribly. She thought about Carlo whom she was not allowed to call before leaving America. “What must he be thinking of me?” she thought to herself. “I hope he all right.” Eke could see his beautiful smile and hear his soft words as she shut her eyes to rest from the sobbing. But it was no use. As soon as she conjured up the vision of the man she loved she couldn’t control her emotions. The more she tried to keep it in the harder her body shook.
“Are you alright honey?” were the kind words from the pleasant brunette lady sitting next to Eke on the plane. “Here, try this…” as she handed a clean hanky to Eke to wipe her nose and eyes. She had cried so hard that even her blouse was moist and both cheeks were red as a Delicious apple. “It must be someone you love,” she continued. “If you want to talk, I am right here.” The lady leaned her seat back, rested her head against a pillow and smiled briefly with warm blue eyes as she slowly closed her lids.
Eke tried to get some sleep but all she could think about was Carlo and “mom and dad” and all of her American friends. Her past 8 months were so wonderful that she, quite frankly, did not want to return home. But it was the right thing to do. She loved her mom and dad and did not want to ever disappoint them. She would talk to them and in time they would understand. She was just sure of that and then she would be able to return to him.
Soon the nice lady awoke and Eke reached over to touch her hand without saying a word and just like that Eke found her self on the ladies shoulder in tears once again as she began to tell the lady what had happened. It took a while but soon Eke found her self starting to calm as she allowed herself to get the emotion out and the lady was the perfect listener. She said nothing but an occasional “uh,huh”, “oh my”, “bless you”…by the time they arrived in Tokyo, Eke’s cheeks were normal and her eyes were not puffy. She was ready to face mom and dad.
Eke hadn’t taken two steps off the plane when she heard the scream from her mother. “Eke! Eke!” Her mom came running straight to her through the crowd of people. They were not only mother and daughter but they were also best friends. Just like Eke, mother Suki was a bubbly bundle of energy. They were like two peas in a pod. Eke could see dad standing at a distance and she knew that this was dad’s doing as head of the family. He was the man of the house and it was his decision to bring Eke home and her mom dutifully knew her place.
There was nothing said on the way home, in fact Eke consciously kept the conversation going about how things were in Wakayama; had they seen any of her friends; hoping to keep from having to discuss why she was in Japan until she had a chance to get a good nights sleep and gather her composure. Not much was being said by dad but mom was her usual self talking a mile a minute. It was almost as if mom knew this was not the time to talk about Carlo and she was doing her best to stay away from the subject to give her daughter a chance to sleep in her own bed; things would be easier in the morning. (…to be continued)
QUARTERMAN
Although arranged marriages (miai-gekkon) are declining in Japan, in the early 70’s and especially among families, at that time, of the older generation it was very common. Eke had been told from a very early age that her husband would be chosen for here according to custom when she reached her mid twenties and from her father up to her great grandfather that is all she knew. Her families of aunts and uncles as well as her parents were all interested in finding the right husband for Eke and she knew that. Traditionally, the Japanese would engage a nakodo (a go-between) to find the right match considering all of the factors such as education, economic status, and family background. The nakodo was not a professional but someone that knew the families and could objectively determine if the relationship was a good match. In addition, the Suki’s were especially interested in Eke marrying a Japanese man and staying close to home since she was their only child. So when they heard the news that Eke was “falling in love” with an American they felt there was no choice but to take action and get her headed back home.
Eke had arrived back in Japan two days after making that emotional trip from Bakersfield to Los Angeles and she had cried virtually all the way home. She thought about her American family and how she couldn’t tell them the truth and she missed them terribly. She thought about Carlo whom she was not allowed to call before leaving America. “What must he be thinking of me?” she thought to herself. “I hope he all right.” Eke could see his beautiful smile and hear his soft words as she shut her eyes to rest from the sobbing. But it was no use. As soon as she conjured up the vision of the man she loved she couldn’t control her emotions. The more she tried to keep it in the harder her body shook.
“Are you alright honey?” were the kind words from the pleasant brunette lady sitting next to Eke on the plane. “Here, try this…” as she handed a clean hanky to Eke to wipe her nose and eyes. She had cried so hard that even her blouse was moist and both cheeks were red as a Delicious apple. “It must be someone you love,” she continued. “If you want to talk, I am right here.” The lady leaned her seat back, rested her head against a pillow and smiled briefly with warm blue eyes as she slowly closed her lids.
Eke tried to get some sleep but all she could think about was Carlo and “mom and dad” and all of her American friends. Her past 8 months were so wonderful that she, quite frankly, did not want to return home. But it was the right thing to do. She loved her mom and dad and did not want to ever disappoint them. She would talk to them and in time they would understand. She was just sure of that and then she would be able to return to him.
Soon the nice lady awoke and Eke reached over to touch her hand without saying a word and just like that Eke found her self on the ladies shoulder in tears once again as she began to tell the lady what had happened. It took a while but soon Eke found her self starting to calm as she allowed herself to get the emotion out and the lady was the perfect listener. She said nothing but an occasional “uh,huh”, “oh my”, “bless you”…by the time they arrived in Tokyo, Eke’s cheeks were normal and her eyes were not puffy. She was ready to face mom and dad.
Eke hadn’t taken two steps off the plane when she heard the scream from her mother. “Eke! Eke!” Her mom came running straight to her through the crowd of people. They were not only mother and daughter but they were also best friends. Just like Eke, mother Suki was a bubbly bundle of energy. They were like two peas in a pod. Eke could see dad standing at a distance and she knew that this was dad’s doing as head of the family. He was the man of the house and it was his decision to bring Eke home and her mom dutifully knew her place.
There was nothing said on the way home, in fact Eke consciously kept the conversation going about how things were in Wakayama; had they seen any of her friends; hoping to keep from having to discuss why she was in Japan until she had a chance to get a good nights sleep and gather her composure. Not much was being said by dad but mom was her usual self talking a mile a minute. It was almost as if mom knew this was not the time to talk about Carlo and she was doing her best to stay away from the subject to give her daughter a chance to sleep in her own bed; things would be easier in the morning. (…to be continued)
QUARTERMAN
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